I felt like I had just jumped off a huge cliff into freezing cold water. My pencil dive was so stiff I parachuted to the bottom of the water like sinking in quick sand: finding it nearly impossible to get back up to air. I can see the mirage of the sky and sun through my burning eyes but it is blurry beyond its reality. Finally my fingers feel the crisp air and next my head. I open my eyes to visuals of land and desperately gasp for the air I had lost.
This past week has made me appreciate that feeling of deeply longing for air and finally reaching it. The technical training, the friendships, the culture, and the passion I gained this past week have made the constant of drowning in ambiguity all that much more worth it.
The week started with apprehension of how my body would handle jumping back into action after a week laying on the bathroom floor, but surprisingly I ran into no problems. Hallelujah!
Some of the technical training consisted of analyzing several businesses ranging from restaurants to “empresio de creditos” to mercados, a whole day of junior achievement lessons with 6th graders, teaching English to 5th graders, and information technology classes. Mind you this is all being done in spanish. What a week!
But what a refreshing week. What a gasp of air. Getting a glimpse into actual Peace Corps projects and Peace Corps life has answered a lot of questions. For instance, a big one many of us trainees have “what the heck am I doing here?” Seeing the relationships built between the volunteer and community members, seeing the eagerness children have to learn, seeing things that might be considered struggles to us but are just simple life to the native Costa Ricans. Although the glimpse into life looks intimidating, it looks inviting. At one point of my visit, I remember sitting on the porch having cafecito. It began to drizzle and the wind picked up a tiny bit. A sense of calmness, like a blanket, lay quietly over my body. I’ll never forget that feeling.
The past week I really let any fear of training I had escape my mind. I didn’t care how many mistakes I made while speaking Spanish, I made each step with confidence (even if I wasn’t feeling confident), and I just had fun with everything. I decided these three things will be a guidance for my life as a peace corps volunteer. It definitely reminds me of living in Hawaii and coming to the realization that fear only exists if you want it to.
And I don’t want it to….
I am so thankful for the wonderful week I spent in San Carlos. On top of that, when I got home, my host family told me we were going to Limon! It was only a day trip but it was such an amazing time.
Not quite sure where I will find the energy to go back to grueling weeks of training after 2 weeks away from the training hub but each day down is another day closer to training being over! Annnnddd we have an exciting getaway to Manuel Antonio and Quepos this weekend with no work!!
I miss everyone and would love snail mail. It takes about 2 weeks to reach me and I only have a month left where mail will be easily delivered to me. Get to it! 🙂 xoxo