I feel as though things are pure when I am right here. And they are. But then when I step away, my mind withers. My intent lowers. I get lost in the clouds and I lose the fire.
A grain of sand has traveled so far to this point. Starting as a boulder. Falling down mountain sides. Thrashed in rough waters along the way. Losing its edge amongst the battle. Chipping away slowly bit by bit. At times I am that boulder. Constantly and effortlessly losing to the known. But here, today, I will be opposite. I will start as grain and work up to boulder. Picking up matter through my struggles along my journey. Everything will stick to my being and become constant in my mind. I will not lose.
The wind may want to drift me in directions I’ve seen before. Gently guide me with an ariel tour of the discovered. However, I will politely decline. I’m sorry wind, I trust you, I do, But I am ready for what is next. What is beyond these horizons. I am chasing the moon who is chasing the sun, who ultimately is life right now. My guidance. She rises, I rise. But again, I apologize to her as well, because at times I must disobey her lead.
Facing the ocean, my hair blows violently in the wind. I can hear you wind, I can feel you pulling. Pulling me somewhere or pushing me back. But I pull you forwards and push you even harder back. I listen to you and I respond to you because I am ready, not because I don’t trust you. Remember, I do not have fear anymore. I am ready for today.
The development of fear lays heavy in my mind. Is it an innate emotion or a created illusion influenced by the pressures and nonsense of society? Are we injected with tiny ounces of fear in the womb? Naturally afraid of the unknown. Or, is fear the result of the tiny strings society (and media) is able to control. I will no longer let the pressures detour me. I am the king, conquering each element of fear with my army of forceful intent. The amplified pressures should not change those who are hatching. Hatching with eagerness and vibrance. Hatching with no fear inside of them, but fire beneath them; breaking through the shell with the strength of a bull.
It is so easy to get caught in the whirlwind of a tornado. Spinning out of our control and into the undesired. Instead, we must lead the tornado to the epicenter of our dreams. The creator of our futures. We must make fear ignite us versus hinder us.
Today, I sit here and feel pure. I feel emotion. I have deserted my feeling of comfortability of the small island of Maui. But I am feeding off of my excitement. I feel the warmth that the happiness is brewing. I sometimes have to touch the grass beside me or dig my toes into the earth to remind myself this is real. Where the ocean meets the sand, reality meets the unknown. Solid meets liquid. We can only make so much of it. Don’t over think the simplicity of it. Swim against the waves if you need, because it is part of the struggle, but once you reach a state of calmness in the water, it will guide you back in, but drift you out even farther if you let it.
It has power. The distractions have power. Fear has power. The wind has power. The waves exude power. But those elements that guide you, they all have purpose. The purpose will reveal itself only in the pureness of intent. Defy the odds if you must. Fight the waves if you must. Battle the wind if you have to. But stay pure. And then guide.
I love your style of writing. I look forward to keeping up to date with your journey through Costa Rica! 🙂
My little Aimee I am so proud to call you a friend. I am amongst a sea of the unknown. The people the places its all so unknown but then I remember what you taught me. The wind is real, the waves are real, you and I, we are real. – all ways love beautiful Aimee -Dee-
@deidra this warmed my heart beyond belief. Just what I needed